This is so obvious I’m surprised it needs mentioning. Masturbation as well as porn has no relationship to how sexually satisfied he is with you. Secondly, we enjoy it because it engages our most primitive instincts and lights up our brain. Women we are extremely attracted to and ones that we are repulsed by are also included.
However, judging from Oprah, Dear Abby, and countless magazines and relationship columnists it apparently needs to be mentioned. Men get the same charge out of porn as they do from watching You Tube videos of explosions, fights, and guys getting hit in the nuts. So drop all the female centric opinions about porn and what it means if your man watches it. Women we don’t find attractive are the most frustrating. Men like to be in the presence of attractive women. If we are in the grocery store, and there are three checkout lines of equal length, we will choose to wait in the line with the most attractive checker.
It’s the extra push that get’s you engaged beyond the causal nod stage.
There is nothing wrong with this and it’s totally innocent. Is it OK to initiate sex while he’s trying to eat lunch? How about when he’s lying in a hospital bed dieing from cancer.
I’m going to tell you something about men and porn that is so important, so profound, that I’ll write it in all caps, bold it and use italics…oh, and put it in red also: A man could be in the most amazing relationship, with the most beautiful woman in the world, and have mind-blowing sex every day, and he would still look at porn. It means nothing and you can’t stop it anymore than you can stop the tides. If a man sees a woman he doesn’t like he’ll have brief flashes of thought about how he wouldn’t like to do her. It is a curse and all men simply learn to disregard these images and thoughts. If one of the checkers is especially attractive, but has the longest line, we will probably take it anyway if we don’t look too creepy doing it.
Again, this so obvious it’s hardly worth mentioning. We don’t do this because we have allusions to getting lucky. We just get a kick out of being in the company of beautiful women. This means that we are attracted to most of our female friends.
This how your artsy-fartsy feminist boyfriend thinks. The most maddening part is we get sexual thoughts about all women regardless of appropriateness or attraction. It’s a by-product, and not a test of the relationship’s value.
This is how your brother, father, grandfather and every man you’ve ever come into contact with thinks. Some go through a mourning period when they finally realize, that yes, that even their wonderful, sensitive, caring husband is really, deep down inside, a pig. These are extremely brief, primitive thoughts, lasting only milliseconds. Relatives, teachers, and our best friend’s wife are included.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.We are compatible on many levels, but there is one thing that continues to turn me off (from ten years ago to now) and that is his lack of ambition to be successful professionally.I wouldn’t be picky about his career field of choice but at the rate it’s going I’ll never see him in a 6 o’clock loosened tie… I’m very much that young professional go getter with the high stress job, always moving to the next promotion. Every man is different but the odds are that most, if not all of these seven points, are fundamentally true for the man your are with right now. If they were, the human race would have died out a long time ago. Having access to frequent, and reliable sex allows us to focus on other things in life like getting a job or developing a hobby. They view good sex as an that the relationship is good. So if you expect your male partner to take the relationship seriously you better be having frequent sex. To put it in caveman terms he’s thinking “she had sex with me, that mean she love me, me happy, me feel good, me now ready to talk.” Because for a man, if you’re not having sex, then there is no “relationship” to talk about. This is how your steak and potatoes philistine macho-man husband thinks. On the most primitive and animalistic level it is our job to make sure the human race continues, at all cost. We get erections ridiculously easy and we come quickly. In the modern world that means yes, we’re ready to go anytime, anywhere. To a man, if the sex is good, the relationship is good. It’s a result of a close, safe, caring bond with their man. Frequency varies from couple to couple and is usually a compromise between two competing desires, so there’s no point in defining here what constitutes “frequent”. As I said in “Men Don’t Go Both Ways” chapter of “Why You’re Still Single”, these are different men and you’ll always be disappointed if you expect a man to cover all bases.